Since When Did Ben & Jerrys Create Scrum?

” I must be doing a different flavour of Scrum to you” said the candidate.

“Yeah, see the way we did Scrum we spoke about the Solution in the Story & we did stand ups just twice a week”.

Wow.

Welcome to Face palm city.

Let’s just try to ignore the tiny winy little part about going against the heart of Scrum which is to dis-empower developers,  treat ’em like code monkeys, remove all opportunity to nspire initiative & force-feed developers the solution.

That part didn’t really annoy me …that much 🙂

The part that really got my goat?

The use of the word ‘flavour’ placed confidently next to the word ‘Scrum’.

Dude.

Bro.

Mate.

That’s like placing the word ‘academic’ next to the word ‘Kardashian’.

It not only doesn’t makes sense, but it’s offensive.

But more to the point.

Since when did Ben & Jerry’s begin making icecream in the flavour of Scrum?

Am I missing something here?

Last time I checked the guys who made Scrum was Sutherland & Schwaber – not Ben & bloody Jerry.

But maybe I’ve got this wrong.

Maybe there is a new age of empirical ice cream development in multiple flavours.

Or maybe people started to make things up as they go along without questioning the information they are getting from their sources who claim to be doing a ‘different flavour of Scrum’.

Who ever you are, please read and repeat the following mantra after me:

There are no flavours of Scrum.

There is no chocolate flavoured Scrum.

There is no Caramel chew chew flavour of Scrum.

Scrum is not an ice cream.

It does not come in bloody flavours.

If you want to pick an Agile framework, methodology, technique, or approach which comes in different flavours : go for one which is less prescriptive than Scrum.

That is completely fine.

Kanban for one example (There are only 2 principles, it leaves almost everything open. The only rules are you need to visualize your workflow and limit your WIP).

But Scrum does have rules.

9 Rules in fact.

If you do not follow these 9 rules then you are not doing a different ‘flavour’ of Scrum – you are simply NOT doing Scrum.

Tell me you are helping a company adopt Scrum, tell me you are going towards ‘doing’ Scrum – but again, I repeat if you do not adhere to the 9 rules which ARE prescribed by Scrum, then you are not doing Scrum!

You don’t do the stand up?

You don’t deliver in a timebox?

Ok – understood.

But that means you have not stuck to the principles which make Scrum what Scrum is – and so that my friends, AGAIN – is NOT Scrum.

Rant over.

Now where’s my ice-cream!